Life's Milestones · Relationships

Today is The Day

Well… Today is the day I would have woken up with butterflies in my stomach and a special glow on my face and say “I’m getting married today!”. Today is the day I would have been too nervous and excited to eat. Today is the day I would have gotten pampered and beautified. Today is the day I had waited for my whole life. Right now I probably would have been drinking Starbucks with my bridesmaids while getting our hair and make up done. All of us giddy with excitement. I’m sure I would have had so many thoughts going through my head. “Wow. I’m actually getting married.” “What is he going to think of me in my dress?” “I hope everything goes smoothly today” “what if the reception isn’t decorated how I imagined it would be?!” “I hope what’s-her-face doesn’t actually show up” “I wonder what he’s thinking..” “I’m going to be a WIFE!”. So many nerves. Next, I would be putting on my wedding dress. Beautiful ivory ball gown with a sweetheart neckline, some lace at the top that flows onto the skirt, beading in the back that starts at the top and goes all the way down the skirt, and to add some bling, a beautiful jeweled belt. My dream wedding dress would have been blush, but settling for this beautiful dress was okay, right? Probably not. At 2pm, we would have started to head to the ceremony spot and get in our spots. I can only imagine the thousands of butterflies in my stomach at this point. 2:30pm comes around and the music would start to play. One by one my bridesmaids would walk out. My daddy by my side probably telling me he loves me and is proud of me. Now is the moment…I would have stepped out in the open and immediately look at who I thought was the love of my life. Now I would walk down the isle, my dad would give me away, we say our vows, give each other the rings, and hear the preacher say “you may now kiss your bride”. That would have been the start of a very unhappily ever after. I’m thankful what I thought would be the happiest day of my life didn’t happen. I’m thankful I didn’t marry a man who was married to his career. I need to be second to God, not his career. I’m thankful I didn’t marry a man who always made me feel like I was in a competition with other girls. I don’t need to be told constantly about all the girls who “want” him or try to flirt with him. I’m thankful I didn’t marry a man who would always be on his phone when we were together because “there’s nothing else to do” because I “never talk”. Maybe if I actually felt like he cared or listened to all my random thoughts, I would have talked more. I thought my world was ending the night he told me he didn’t love me the way I should be loved anymore. But now I see that my world got brighter and happier. I’m able to find someone who I deserve and who deserves me. I’m thankful that I’m the one that got away. Today is the day I smile and say “I’m not getting married today”.

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