Falling in love has been a goal of people from all generations. My grandmother wanted to fall in love someday. My mother wanted to fall in love someday. My sister wanted to fall in love someday. I myself want to fall in love someday. And this isn’t just a trait passed down in women. The men of my family all wanted to fall in love someday too.
Love for my grandparents was simple. They met in high school. They got married at a young age. And here they are fifty years later, still together and as happy as they ever were. High school sweethearts as the saying goes.
Even for my parents, finding love was different, as they are both currently single. As a child who has parents who are not together, growing up with two different homes was difficult for me. Eventually I had gotten used to it, but even today it’s hard moving back and forth.
For my sister, she fell in love more than once. She dated a man for four years. She moved to a different state for him. She changed her job. Only to find out that he was unfaithful to her. Of course, this poor excuse of a man led my sister to find the love of her life, who she married and started a family with.
My question is, what is love going to be like for my generation?
High school relationships barely ever lead to being high school sweethearts after years of college. College relationships are a one night stand. Instead of going on dates and enjoying being with each other, people in my generation are being raped at college parties. There are relationships out there that both people have fallen in love with each other. But why are they so difficult to find? Will my generation even be able to find love? Will they be happily with the same person in fifty years? Will the relationship even last twenty? Will they get divorced? Will they cheat on each other? Will they lie to each other? What will happen to the relationships?
Why do all these negative questions come to mind when talking about love?
Love in our generation has changed. And it has not been for the better. A relationship in which both people fall in love with each other in is remarkably special. I hope that my generation is able to someday figure out how love works, but with the way it’s going right now, it’s a coin toss. There are wonderful, successful and happy relationships. There are relationships that are unhealthy, emotional and stressful. As a generation, we are going to have to recognize the relationships that are something real and the ones that are just talk.
How can we change love today?
That’s a good question, that I don’t have exact answers for. With my experience, I’ve seen very strong, long-term relationships crumble in minutes. I’ve seen relationships that seem to never end, even though they broke up last week. With our generation, I think that the issue lies in how we are defining love. Love is not a one night stand. Love is not someone who breaks your heart over and over. Love is not cheating. Love is not lying. Love is not just physical.
From the dictionary,
Simple Definition of love
: a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person
: attraction that includes sexual desire : the strong affection felt by people who have a romantic relationship
: a person you love in a romantic way
This is a post that I saw on twitter recently, which somewhat inspired this blog topic (along with a topic generator that gave me the title). Originally I thought, well isn’t a feeling? Isn’t it a feeling between two people? A feeling that you want to spend a lifetime together? Then I thought, but it’s also a choice, isn’t it? A choice to be with that person instead of choosing to be with somebody different? I couldn’t make up my mind of which I thought it was until I read the rest. The more I thought about it, the more I understood. Love is a choice.
Love is not just going to walk into you on the sidewalk someday on your way to work. Love is something that you and your partner are going to mutually choose. You’ll make the choice to be with that person for a lifetime. You’ll make the choice to work out arguments and overcome the bumps in the road. That is what love is, choosing to be together even through the worst times, as they say “In good times and bad”.
I just hope that my generation has the same kind of response I have had after reading this.
Make the choice to fall in love someday.