Holidays

The worst Christmas I’ve ever had

Christmas is no doubt my favorite time of the year. In the past couple of years since becoming an aunt, I have loved this holiday for the spirit of giving. I clearly have grown up since the days of it being all about the gifts and receiving them. The reason why Christmas is my favorite time of the year is because of all the joy and laughter that people have.

However, there was one Christmas that I just really can’t get out of my mind when the season comes around.

As a little background, I have always hated how alcohol makes people act. I literally can not deal with people, especially family members, who are drunk. This so happened to be the case with the worst Christmas I have ever had.

It was a couple of years ago. My aunt, who tends to drink to begin with, had had WAY too much to drink that night. She was belligerently drunk to the point where she was demanding more alcohol to take home. She was drunk and therefore got more and more angry when her bottle of alcohol (that she took from my uncle) was misplaced (aka taken and hidden from her). She was yelling and screaming for her alcohol in front of the entire family, including my five year old nephew. She kept saying that she needed the alcohol in order to have sex with her husband. Swearing and throwing herself all over the place, and even getting into a fist fight with my mother, I decided that I needed to walk away and take my nephew with me into the other room.

This is where he told me that this was the worst Christmas ever.

It is really insane how much one event can change the entire spirit of a night. After this, everyone seemed to be less cheerful and the spirit of Christmas was gone.

And that is the story of my worst Christmas ever.

advice · Life's Milestones

My biggest regret

Okay so basically for any girl (and maybe anyone in general), your biggest regret stems off of something that has to do with a relationship. It’s pretty typical for someone to regret having a relationship with someone that they had dated. For me, my biggest regret is also something to do with a relationship that I had with someone who I shouldn’t have had a relationship with which then spiraled into a huge mess of drama in my friend group.

While the relationship itself was a complete disaster and mess, my biggest regret is not exactly the relationship. The relationship I had was a long distance one with someone who barely gave me the time of day and when he did, he was lying to me. Okay, so that wasn’t a great relationship to start. He cheated on me so many times that I had lost count and when he did they didn’t even affect me or make me upset anymore. I had made up excuses for him. “Oh we haven’t seen each other, of course that is going to happen”. BUT NO. No man in a serious relationship should EVER cheat on you and you should never convince yourself that cheating in any form is okay in a relationship.

Regardless of that, this relationship was very strong before becoming long distance. We spent a lot of time together. So much time that I had started to spend less time with my friend group. One of my friends got so jealous of the relationship and felt so replaced that she started spreading rumors about me (yay high school drama). She got mad when I would talk to her ex boyfriend (who was my friend first). She even got to the level of anonymously texting my then boyfriend to break up with me, my own father saying that since he’s letting me stay in this relationship that he doesn’t love me, and getting one of her friends to text me horrible things when he didn’t even know me.

After all of this, the drama kind of died down. I still didn’t hang out with my then friends, because how could I even consider them that after what they had done to me. We had to have meetings together with the vice principle of the school. For me, this meeting was not helpful at all, I was not even able to bring up anything without my “friend” making it come back at something I had done.

Later, I started becoming less involved with all of the high school clubs I was a part of in an effort to reduce the number of times I had to be around my old friends. After all, we had done basically everything together for the past 2 years. Even my school guidance counselor encouraged me NOT to be involved anymore and let my “friend” continue all of her involvements.

THIS, is my biggest regret. Not being involved in high school for the two years following. I had lost my entire friend group and never truly found real friends in high school. Despite this all starting out with a relationship gone wrong, it really ended up changing my entire life style. When I graduated high school, I decided that I would never hold myself back from anything for someone else’s benefit. I need to think about myself.

When I first came to college, my main mission was to find my friend group and get involved with groups on campus. I can proudly say that I am a member of 3 organizations on campus (and counting). I am also doing SO much better with courses and grades than I was in high school. I believe that this is because of the lack of drama in my life. Thank goodness people grow up and mature right?

Despite this huge regret of mine, I wouldn’t go back to alter or change it because it really made me into the person that I am today. I would not be where I am now if it weren’t for the events that occurred in my past. Every experience teaches you something in life.

College

Working in College

College is pretty much the most important step that will lead you to a career you will spend the next fifty or so years doing. I guess you could say that it is pretty dang important. Although some people in certain career paths can get away without a college degree, most fields require it. This makes it super difficult to get a job unless you attend college. But college is expensive. 

It’s hard to find a job working on a campus when there are 11,000 or more other students looking for a job as well. My first year as a freshmen I applied for around 15 jobs, had one interview and NO job. Luckily, I received a couple of scholarships from my high school and had saved most of the amount I needed to pay my first year in full.

This year you ask? HA. This year I had my first (real) (not babysitting) job during the summer. I have a job babysitting three days a week near my campus. AND I just got a second job working on campus taking notes for students in my class. Despite all of that, I still had to take out a huge loan to pay for my college education. And it’s only my second year. Multiply this by at least two more years, if I graduate on time, and then at least two years after that because my career field requires me to earn my Master’s Degree.

Not only is it difficult to find a single job near by your campus, but this job also has to be pretty flexible considering your courses will change in 4 months and they are likely to be different, in turn changing your work hours or days. Luckily, for those who end up snatching a job on campus, the jobs know and understand that you are a college student and being a student and earning good grades is the most important thing. However, there are many companies that seem to think that you are going to work for them forever and never move on to bigger and better things. They use up every spare second you have (which is next to zero) and kill your social life or student involvement time.

Currently, I planned my schedule for this semester around a babysitting job that I was supposed to have. At the end of last semester though I was told that I was no longer needed as the father’s work hours were changed. I had really planned my life round having this job and didn’t expect to lose it anytime soon. So now, I am left with a very boring and open schedule that I COULD fit easily into a work schedule. BUT it’s basically too late to get any job on campus because the semester just started and they have most positions filled.

Working and college and loans and money are all just such a struggle honestly.

100 Things

100 (ish) Things I want to Accomplish in 2017

With 2016 ending and 2017 just beginning, rather than set some crazy New Year’s Resolutions that I’ll never stick to, I wanted to come up with some more realistic things that I want to achieve this year. A lot has been happening in my life and it’s made me realize that I need to take advantage of the life that I have and enjoy it while I can.

I hope that this will inspire some of you to make a list of your goals for the year as well.

P.S. I may not be able to list 100 things all at once but I will of course be adding to it as I make my way through 2017.

Dear 2017,

  1. Get my permit to drive
  2. Pass my first state teaching exam
  3. Travel
  4. Get my license
  5. Spend more time with my family, especially my older family members.
  6. Make more friends
  7. Go to my first college party
  8. Experience my first recruitment weekend
  9. Get a Little!
  10. Celebrate one year with my boyfriend
  11. Get a campus job
  12. Paint often
  13. Make my Etsy shop successful
  14. Write in my journal every couple of days
  15. Buy a fancy camera
  16. Raise my GPA
  17. Go on adventures
  18. Have a leadership position
  19. Be even more involved on campus
  20. Complete my observation hours
  21. Try things that I’ve never tried
  22. Try things that scare me
  23. Be adventurous, for the first time in my life
  24. Celebrate one year with my boyfriend
  25. Make the Dean’s List
  26. Blog more
  27. Obtain at least 3 A’s in my courses this semester
  28. Apply to study abroad
  29. Volunteer more
  30. Save all my change in a jar
  31. Start going to the gym
  32. Recreate some pictures
  33. Eat healthier, cut back on fries at the dining hall!
  34. Drink water, this is actually super important
  35. Do something outside of my comfort zone
  36. Smile more
  37. Strive for all A’s in my courses
  38. Apply to be an Orientation Leader in the summer
  39. Have a summer job, manager?
  40. Go to a concert with friends
  41. Visit home more often when I’m at college
  42. Spend more time with my parents
  43. Make other people smile with little acts of kindness
  44. Get enough sleep
  45. Express my feelings more often, stop holding everything in

 

To be continued…