advice · Life's Milestones

My biggest regret

Okay so basically for any girl (and maybe anyone in general), your biggest regret stems off of something that has to do with a relationship. It’s pretty typical for someone to regret having a relationship with someone that they had dated. For me, my biggest regret is also something to do with a relationship that I had with someone who I shouldn’t have had a relationship with which then spiraled into a huge mess of drama in my friend group.

While the relationship itself was a complete disaster and mess, my biggest regret is not exactly the relationship. The relationship I had was a long distance one with someone who barely gave me the time of day and when he did, he was lying to me. Okay, so that wasn’t a great relationship to start. He cheated on me so many times that I had lost count and when he did they didn’t even affect me or make me upset anymore. I had made up excuses for him. “Oh we haven’t seen each other, of course that is going to happen”. BUT NO. No man in a serious relationship should EVER cheat on you and you should never convince yourself that cheating in any form is okay in a relationship.

Regardless of that, this relationship was very strong before becoming long distance. We spent a lot of time together. So much time that I had started to spend less time with my friend group. One of my friends got so jealous of the relationship and felt so replaced that she started spreading rumors about me (yay high school drama). She got mad when I would talk to her ex boyfriend (who was my friend first). She even got to the level of anonymously texting my then boyfriend to break up with me, my own father saying that since he’s letting me stay in this relationship that he doesn’t love me, and getting one of her friends to text me horrible things when he didn’t even know me.

After all of this, the drama kind of died down. I still didn’t hang out with my then friends, because how could I even consider them that after what they had done to me. We had to have meetings together with the vice principle of the school. For me, this meeting was not helpful at all, I was not even able to bring up anything without my “friend” making it come back at something I had done.

Later, I started becoming less involved with all of the high school clubs I was a part of in an effort to reduce the number of times I had to be around my old friends. After all, we had done basically everything together for the past 2 years. Even my school guidance counselor encouraged me NOT to be involved anymore and let my “friend” continue all of her involvements.

THIS, is my biggest regret. Not being involved in high school for the two years following. I had lost my entire friend group and never truly found real friends in high school. Despite this all starting out with a relationship gone wrong, it really ended up changing my entire life style. When I graduated high school, I decided that I would never hold myself back from anything for someone else’s benefit. I need to think about myself.

When I first came to college, my main mission was to find my friend group and get involved with groups on campus. I can proudly say that I am a member of 3 organizations on campus (and counting). I am also doing SO much better with courses and grades than I was in high school. I believe that this is because of the lack of drama in my life. Thank goodness people grow up and mature right?

Despite this huge regret of mine, I wouldn’t go back to alter or change it because it really made me into the person that I am today. I would not be where I am now if it weren’t for the events that occurred in my past. Every experience teaches you something in life.


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