advice · Life's Milestones

My biggest regret

Okay so basically for any girl (and maybe anyone in general), your biggest regret stems off of something that has to do with a relationship. It’s pretty typical for someone to regret having a relationship with someone that they had dated. For me, my biggest regret is also something to do with a relationship that I had with someone who I shouldn’t have had a relationship with which then spiraled into a huge mess of drama in my friend group.

While the relationship itself was a complete disaster and mess, my biggest regret is not exactly the relationship. The relationship I had was a long distance one with someone who barely gave me the time of day and when he did, he was lying to me. Okay, so that wasn’t a great relationship to start. He cheated on me so many times that I had lost count and when he did they didn’t even affect me or make me upset anymore. I had made up excuses for him. “Oh we haven’t seen each other, of course that is going to happen”. BUT NO. No man in a serious relationship should EVER cheat on you and you should never convince yourself that cheating in any form is okay in a relationship.

Regardless of that, this relationship was very strong before becoming long distance. We spent a lot of time together. So much time that I had started to spend less time with my friend group. One of my friends got so jealous of the relationship and felt so replaced that she started spreading rumors about me (yay high school drama). She got mad when I would talk to her ex boyfriend (who was my friend first). She even got to the level of anonymously texting my then boyfriend to break up with me, my own father saying that since he’s letting me stay in this relationship that he doesn’t love me, and getting one of her friends to text me horrible things when he didn’t even know me.

After all of this, the drama kind of died down. I still didn’t hang out with my then friends, because how could I even consider them that after what they had done to me. We had to have meetings together with the vice principle of the school. For me, this meeting was not helpful at all, I was not even able to bring up anything without my “friend” making it come back at something I had done.

Later, I started becoming less involved with all of the high school clubs I was a part of in an effort to reduce the number of times I had to be around my old friends. After all, we had done basically everything together for the past 2 years. Even my school guidance counselor encouraged me NOT to be involved anymore and let my “friend” continue all of her involvements.

THIS, is my biggest regret. Not being involved in high school for the two years following. I had lost my entire friend group and never truly found real friends in high school. Despite this all starting out with a relationship gone wrong, it really ended up changing my entire life style. When I graduated high school, I decided that I would never hold myself back from anything for someone else’s benefit. I need to think about myself.

When I first came to college, my main mission was to find my friend group and get involved with groups on campus. I can proudly say that I am a member of 3 organizations on campus (and counting). I am also doing SO much better with courses and grades than I was in high school. I believe that this is because of the lack of drama in my life. Thank goodness people grow up and mature right?

Despite this huge regret of mine, I wouldn’t go back to alter or change it because it really made me into the person that I am today. I would not be where I am now if it weren’t for the events that occurred in my past. Every experience teaches you something in life.

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advice · high school · life

8 things high school taught me

High school is said to be the “best years of your life” but mine for sure was not anywhere close to this. High school is said to be where you form your best friendships,  but barely any of the people I talked to in high school talk to me today. Life goes on and honestly, high school ends up being a time of your life that just was there. Even though my high school years were torture, I learned so much and took away a lot of positives from my negative experiences.

Here are 8 things that high school taught me…

  1. To focus on the important things, which were my grades. Needless to say, I underwent a ton of high school drama. I didn’t want to waste time dealing with drama when the only thing that was going to affect me in the long run were my grades. Your friends and social class in high school don’t at all play a factor when you are applying to colleges. No type of drama or bullying is worth risking your future education for.
  2. To get involved. In my case, I didn’t really realize how important being involved in other groups were until my senior year. All my friends were talking about the clubs they were involved in and because of their involvement, they had more to write on college applications, experiences to write about for college essays and so on. Getting involved in other groups or organizations can only benefit you in the future.
  3. Not to let anyone hold you back from what you want to do. After some high school drama, I was told to not be involved in the groups I was in because my “friends” were in them and it could cause more drama again. I listened, again, being involved I later realized was so so so important for my future. I decided after this that I would never agin let someone dictate to me what I can and cannot do in my life, after all, it is exactly that, mine.
  4. The importance of meeting new people. By new people, I mean not just being friends with your four best friends like I did for my entire (middle and) high school careers. You should go out and make other friends who aren’t exactly friends with your other friends. Having a diverse group of friends is great because every has different hobbies or opinions. While your close friends may not have all the same interests as you, people you meet in other groups might.
  5. How to plan ahead of time and be prepared. In high school, I was a part of a couple of different clubs in and out of school. With this I also managed working after school babysitting everyday and finding time somewhere in the middle to complete all my homework. Now being a college student, learning how to manage my time effectively in high school has helped me so much to manage my involvement, work, homework and not to mention, laundry, eating schedule and sleeping patterns in college.
  6. Rumors and drama are unavoidable and happen at any age throughout life. For whatever reason, people LOVE drama. They all say it ends after high school, and while these are probably the worst years for drama, it is really never ending. With that being said, it’s pretty important that you come to the realization that drama is literally unavoidable. You can not make everyone happy. And yes, it’ll be unavoidable  for the rest of our lives.
  7. Procrastination is dangerous. I like to say that procrastination is my talent. Everyone procrastinates the things that they have to do. But eventually, you will have to learn that putting everything off until the last minute is dangerous. And by dangerous I mean stressful.
  8. How to be myself and how to be happy with who I am. The biggest thing that I took away from my high school years was that not everyone is going to want to be your friend. Not everyone is going to treat you nicely or get along with you. You have to kind of take this with a grain of salt. As long as YOU love yourself and who you are, then you should be happy with who you are. Don’t depend on other people’s opinions of you to be happy with the person that you are.

In the beginning of this blog I mentioned that my high school years weren’t particularly great. I hope that for the rest of you, you didn’t have any similar situations and experiences to the ones that I had. With that being said, despite having difficult high school years, I wasn’t at all stopped from learning some very valuable lessons and finding out who the person I wanted to be was probably one of the most important.

Also don’t forget to check out last week’s blog 15 things they should teach in high school (but don’t)

advice · Jobs · life · Our Thoughts

My passion

Hello, it’s Squishy. I’m going to share a little bit about my dream and passion. Some of you may know, I’m wanting to become an EMT. I may seem like I hate everyone, but I love helping people. I like the thought of saving lives and just doing something for my community.

My junior and senior years in high school, I was really struggling on what I wanted to do with my life. At the time, I was dating someone in the military who I thought I was going to marry someday. So, I had to think of a job that would be easy to have while moving around a lot. I looked into it and thought nursing might be a good fit. I always found medical things to be interesting. I took a tour at a college I was interested in and really liked it. But, I knew that since I was homeschooled and really couldn’t afford college, it probably would be really difficult to get into a good college. So, I kept looking. Eventually, my mom suggested looking into becoming an EMT. I did my research and asked a guy I knew, who was a paramedic, if it was possible to move around and be an EMT at the same time and he said it was. The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea of becoming one. I get really passionate about things really fast. When I want something, I don’t stop until I get it. Eventually, I signed up for the EMT course at the same college where I toured at. I loved the class. It was so interesting and such a great experience. I knew I had made the right decision. At the end of the 4 month course, I passed. I was so proud of myself. But, I wasn’t quite an EMT yet. I still had to take the National Registry Exam. I forget how many months I waited after the course to take it but, it was probably too long. When I did take it, I didn’t pass. I was so disappointed. It was so much harder than I expected. Which, is probably good. Because they want the best. It’s literally between life and death. I struggled with where to go from there. I kept going from “I’m done. I quit. I don’t want to do it anymore.” to “no, I need to still pursue it.” I went back and forth so many times. Finally, I decided to start studying again and schedule to take the National Registey Exam. I felt like I studied pretty hard. I felt really confident going into the exam. I failed. Again. I wasn’t able to take the exam again because my time limit expired shortly after that try.

That leads me to where I’m at now. A year after I graduated EMT School. I recently found out about an EMT class that’s in the next town over and I looked into it and signed up. I start in January. I am so excited! Still, I don’t know what’s going to happen. I may not pass again. But, I have a really good feeling about it. I’m sharing all this to tell you to just never give up on your dream. That sounds cliché, I know. If you fail, please don’t stop trying. Everyone deserves to have their dream. I believe everything happens for a reason. That God has a plan for everything. If it doesn’t happen when you want it to, there’s a reason. A reason you may not understand at the moment. But, I promise you, you will understand eventually. Heck, a better opportunity might come along and you’ll be thankful what you had planned didn’t happen. I would like to add that I did choose this career path because of a boy and even though it’s now my passion, don’t decide what you want to do with your life based around your significant other. You need to follow your dreams and do what’s best for you. I’ll end my cliché post here.

advice · College · Greek Life

Campus Involvement

Okay, so as I talked about in the quick blog we posted yesterday, I have been super busy lately. I was having a bit of a hard time coming up with a good blog topic and then it hit me, the one thing that I have been doing like crazy since coming back to campus, being involved. 

Now I’m not going to say what to get involved in or try to convince you to do all of the things that I do on my campus, however I am going to encourage you to be as involved as you can be. This doesn’t just go for college students but also high school students, and even graduates or work force employees. In general, I just want you to be involved whether it be with an organization, club, Greek life, the community, your workplace, ANYTHING!

Being involved on my campus as definitely changed my life and my outlook on life. I have found many organizations that I am very passionate about and loving being a part of. To give you a sense of how much time a day I spend being involved (especially the past few weeks) here are some of the things that have been keeping me on my toes lately.

On my campus, I am involved with..

Program Council- this is an organization that plans all of the events for everyone on campus. They host Bingo nights, homecoming week, springfest week, poetry nights, open mic nights, craft nights, and everything in between. All the events that they host on campus are usually 100% free. Other than that, they also plan some Off Campus Adventures that cost money, but aren’t above $10, which appeals to the college student wallet.

Greek Life- I am in a sorority on my campus. Every week we hold a Chapter meeting that is mandatory to attend. Along with that we attend philanthropy events to support the community and our organizations. Since I am in Greek Life, I also support Panhellenic Association. This is the governing board for all the sororities on campus. It also has a Circle of Sisterhood philanthropy that we support and raise money for. We do tons of volunteering in the community, off and on campus.

Residence Hall Association- This is the governing body that allocates money to the Residential buildings, programs, and any other event that you may need money for. This group basically votes to approve your request or not. It also holds some fun events like making cards for people with cancer or playing games against other residential halls.

Lastly, I signed up for a six week course about Greek Leadership and Development (or GLAD). In this we have a small group of campus leaders who get together to have discussions with other adminstrators on how we can become a better campus leader and how we can make a better image for ourselves on campus.

These four organizations are just the major ones that I participate in and attend meetings for every week. As you can probably tell, my schedule is pretty packed. Between these organizations, working, homework and other campus events, you’re probably wondering why I make myself so busy.

The answer is simple. Being involved on campus brings you so many opportunities that if you aren’t involved, you wouldn’t have the opportunity to do. For example, if I weren’t in Program Council, I wouldn’t have the opportunity to attend the Leadership Summit I went to a couple weeks ago. If I weren’t in Greek Life, I wouldn’t have been able to sign up for GLAD. Of course, there have been other opportunities that are available to me that I have had to say no to, as much as I didn’t want to.

And that’s just the case, being involved comes with responsibility and most important time management. First you are a college student. Then you are a campus leader. What I mean by this is that sometimes you can’t do everything. You must prioritize your school work before your involvement. If you know that you have a busy day on Tuesdays, you have to plan ahead and do everything before Tuesday. If you signed up for some leadership course that overlaps with your work schedule, you have to try to find a way to schedule your work week in a way that isn’t intrusive. If you have a huge exam coming up, you have to make the executive decision not to attend the weekly meeting.

I think that the reason why I am so passionate about being involved is all the opportunities that I have found since joining the organizations. But aside from that, it is the people and friends that I have made through them. I would have never met my roommates had I not been involved with Program Council or Greek Life. I couldn’t imagine a life without them as they have become a huge part of who I have grown to be as a campus leader. These organizations give you so much more than you could ever give them. They give you a lifetime of memories in exchange for an hour of your time each week. They give you the strongest friendships in exchange for signing up to volunteer for an event. They give you experience for any career you may go into in exchange for a weekend traveling to a National Conference.

With that being said, I encourage every single high school student, college student, college graduate, parent, employee to get involved with something that is meaningful to you. Get involved with some organization that you are passionate about. What you take away from being involved is so much greater than anything you could imagine.

advice · high school · Our Thoughts

15 things they should teach in high school (but don’t)

High school years are some of the most important years of your life. What you do in high school determines what your future will be like. If you intend on attending a prestigious college, you’re going to have to work hard and receive grades that stand out. Becoming involved in high school is important to colleges because they want a group of students who is diverse in what they do.

However, high school doesn’t just prepare you for college. It should be preparing you for becoming an adult. Once you graduate high school, you are seen as an adult in the eyes of society. Sure high school gives you the knowledge for college courses and prepares you for the work load of homework. But there are many things that high school doesn’t prepare you for before you graduate that you should really know how to do.

Here is a list of things that they should teach you in high school, but they don’t.

  1. How to cook-
    • Going into college I had the thought that I would try to make my own meals as much as I could. But I quickly realized that the only foods on the menu were ramen noodles, pasta and sauce, toast, cookies and microwave meals. My middle and high school offered cooking classes that were mandatory for each grade level, however they stopped offering these courses after my first year in middle school. I always thought those classes would be fun but I never realized how important they could be and are when you are on your own.
  2. How to balance a check book
    • Now this is something that for sure should be taught in high school. Instead of learning this in a class, my mother had to teach me how to balance a check book. Sure it’s only an hour or so lesson but a class should be offered to high schoolers that teaches them responsibility when it comes to managing money.
  3. How to apply for loans
    • After you graduate high school, applying for loans for college is one of he first thing you’ll be doing. It will probably be the first adult like thing you’ve ever done in your life. Of course, our generation is also one that is filled with first generation college students which isn’t helpful because no one knows exactly how to apply for loans, what the differences are, or which loans are the best.
  4. How and when to start a retirement fund
    • Not that this is super important at a younger age, but as you get older you are going to want to start planning a retirement fund. My mom told me that at the age of 21 you should start putting away $100 a month towards retirement and by the time you are there you’ll have a million dollars saved.
  5. How and when to pay off college loans
    • Loans have interest. Interest is a killer when you are trying to pay off your loans. I wish that not only did high school teach me about applying for loans, but also how to pay them off in a shorter amount of time. Or at least some tricks or tips on not gaining so much interest over the years.
  6. How to handle money and taxes
    • This kind of goes with everything I’ve been saying with loans and retirement funds but, high school should teach you how to budget your money. How much you should spend and how much you should save. Also, they should teach you about taxes and what exactly you get back in them at the end of the year. I just started working my first real job and have no clue what the taxes being taken out of my pay check are for.
  7. Politics
    • In high school, I took a variety of history classes. But now that I am in college, I am required to take a politic class. This class was completely overwhelming for me. The professor would use examples that I have no clue the meaning of. We never really spent too much time on politics which really stressed me out when taking this class, so much so that I withdrew from it.
  8. How to change a tire
    • Sure it comes with some type of instruction in the car manual, however, changing a tire is just one of those things that you should know hoe to do before it happens. Learning how to change a tire on the side of the highway isn’t the best time to figure it out for yourself.
  9. Simple home repairs
    • How to unclog a toilet, how to fix a leaky faucet, something simple like this could be really useful when you own your first home. Homes come with some issues no matter what, painting, sanding, installing a shelf, and so on. And sure these are simple instructions for the most part, but it surely isn’t always common sense.
  10. How to establish good credit
    • Honestly, I still don’t understand what credit is. I don’t know how to establish credit. I don’t, I just don’t know a single thing about credit.
  11. Finding a job
    • I recently got my first real job, after taking on about ten interviews and finally getting hired, finding a job was more difficult than I had thought it would be. I always felt good after the interview, only to hear I didn’t get the job.
  12. How to be interviewed for a job
    • Interviews always made me really nervous. You aren’t sure what questions they are going to ask you. You can’t prepare your answers in advanced. Interviewing isn’t for everyone that’s for sure. Learning how to handle an interview in high school would have helped me so much with my interviews instead of learning after a series of failures.
  13. Self defense
    • Here is something that my high school actually offered me. Before graduation, we took a class for self defense, it was just the ladies who were offered this course since ladies are more likely to run into a situation where they have to defend themselves. However, it was just a two hour quick lesson that I think would have helped so much more had they done the class over a period of time to learn more defense mechanisms.
  14. CPR certification or basic first aid
    • Many jobs look for people who are CPR certified and know some type of first aid. Usually a job will train you in this, but not all jobs require it. It gives you something to put on your resume that employers are looking for. I am not CPR certified or know any type of basic first aid for my job. I recently had someone pass out unconscious and had absolutely no clue what to do other than inform my supervisor to get help. It was terrifying not knowing how to help.
  15. Time management
    • For the most part, this is something I probably learned the most of on this list in high school. You do have to manage your time well and get assignments in on time as they are due. However, its different when you are on your own in college and you have to manage work, school, campus involvement, class, eating, laundry, etc etc all by yourself.
advice · life · Our Thoughts

How I deal with Stress

Lately, I’ve had to deal with more stress than I probably ever had to deal with all at once. Working twice as many hours than normal, friend drama, dog dying, mom in the hospital, 1 of 2 cars breaking down… It’s a lot for me, personally, to handle. Everyone has their own way of dealing with stress. Here are some of my ways!
1. Breathe.

Sometimes, you just get so caught up in the stress and are so overwhelmed that you just forget to breathe. It’s important to just sit down and take deep breaths. When I’m feeling really stressed, I start breathing inadequately and have to just calm myself and breathe.

2. Pray.

Personally, as a Christian, praying is a huge factor in keeping me sane. There’s always a feeling of peace when I pray. Reading the bible helps me as well!

3. Rant.

Getting is all out usually helps. At least for the time being. My poor boyfriend has to listen to me rant a lot because I’m always stressing about something. But, he’s always there to listen and tries to do the best he can to help the situation. Along with my two Twitter best friends. Thankful for all of them.

4. Watch Netflix.

I’ll use any excuse to binge watch Netflix. But, it does help keep my mind off of the things I’m stressing about! Or, depending on the show, makes me more stressed. I get so invested in shows!

5. Take a nap.

Sometimes all I need is some sleep. I get all mentally and physically exhausted and just need to turn off my mind for a little while.

6. Listen to Disney Music.

I’m a kid at heart! How can you be sad or stressed while listening to Disney songs? If you’re stressed, you just have to try and LET IT GO LET IT GOOOOOO! (Sorry, couldn’t help myself)

7. Think of all the good things in my life.

I especially try and think about how amazing the people in my life are. I have friends and family who support me and are always there for me. Words truly can’t describe how thankful I am for all of them. Thinking of the positive things really does help. It may not take away the problem, but it at least helps you not go completely mad.
I hope that whatever you are going through, you are able to find ways to help you cope with the stress!

advice · Friends · Our Thoughts

Second chances

Let’s talk about giving second chances. For me, I was a firm believer that sometimes people make a mistake. I believed these people are worthy of having a second chance, no matter how much they may have hurt my feelings. But that was just me. Some people have such a hard time letting people into their lives to begin with. Therefore, a second chance is simply seen as a second chance that this person could hurt them again. Both of these sides I can understand. Either you give people second chances or you don’t.

Here’s the thing though, I usually tend to give people a second second chance. Or a third second chance. Or fourth. Fifth. Sixth. You get the point. I’ve come to realize a thing or two about people who deserve a second chance and people who don’t even deserve the first chance you gave them.

If you are in a friendship or relationship where…

You have to prove your worthiness of being their friend or significant other, they don’t deserve it.

Why? Because you shouldn’t have to fight for a friendship or relationship where the other person questions why they need or would want you in their life.

If you are in a friendship or relationship where…

You have been hurt so many times that the actions causing the hurt no longer upset you, they don’t deserve it.

Why? Because this person has hurt you consistently over and over again. Yes sometimes people can change. But this is reoccurring, there is no sign of change when someone has hurt you multiple times.

If you are in a friendship or relationship where…

There isn’t mutual trust or honesty, they don’t deserve it.

Why? Because trust and honesty are the base of any friendship and relationship. If you can’t trust your friend or significant other, the entire base of this friendship is falling apart.

If you are in a friendship or relationship where…

They simply don’t care about you or your feelings, they don’t deserve it.

Why? Because a true friend or partner cares about how you feel. They care if they hurt your feelings or upset you in someway.

If you are in a friendship or relationship where…

You are the one making plans to hangout all the time or being the first to text or call them, they don’t deserve it.

Why? Because every friendship or relationship should be mutual. A mutual agreement to each start a conversation one day instead of one person putting all the effort into the friendship or relationship.

Here’s the thing with second chances, once you give them a second chance, they think that they will always get another second chance. There’s a lot of circumstances that I can’t even begin to write in the above examples. The point being, that once a person is disrespectful or hurtful to you, it’s difficult to forgive them never mind give them a second chance at being in your life. You’re always going to think back to the day they said this or did that. But you’ll be the bigger person and put the hurt in the past. But once you give one second chance, it’s difficult to stop giving second chances. You become numb to the hurt and the disrespect. You begin to think that that’s just how it is. You overlook things that upset you. You forgive them. You start over. You put it all in the past. But, it really never is in the past. You always wonder when it’s going to happen again. You question everything they say to you.

So here’s what I’ve come to realize about giving people second chances.

First off, obviously this person has to genuinely feel badly for what they did or said. Don’t accept any apology over a text or phone call. Anyone can type something in a text message or say something without looking you face to face.

Second, make them wait it out. They hurt you, why should you immediately let them back into your life? Make them prove that they feel badly and prove that they want your friendship or relationship. That it means as much to them as it means to you.

Never fight for a friendship or relationship where you weren’t the one making the mistake. Someone else hurt you, why are you proving yourself to them to keep the friendship or relationship?

Once you have spent some time kind of waiting it out and deciding if this friendship or relationship is one that is worth a shot at a second chance, talk to them in person. Explain to them that what happened really hurt you but you feel that this friendship or relationship is one that is worthy of a second chance.

But that is it.

One second chance.

The point of a second chance is that this person only has this one shot. And if they make a mistake again, they don’t get to have a second second chance.

 

advice · date · dating · Our Thoughts · Relationships

8 Tips for Boyfriends

Every girl is different with what they do and do not like in a relationship. Some girls are needy and some girls need their space. Some girls like receiving gifts and some girls would rather have affection.

I’m going to list some basic tips that MOST girls like!

1. Text back fast

This one is for the girls who are needy (like myself). Girls like to know that they’re a top priority. If you aren’t really doing anything, just be sure to text your girl often! I know you can’t always text back in a quick manner. Which brings me to my next tip.

2. Let her know when you’re busy

This is one thing that really irks me. Don’t just drop from the face of the earth randomly. Let your girl know when you won’t be able to talk! Most girls appreciate this a lot. I know I do.

3. Buy her flowers

I loooove receiving flowers. I always think of my boyfriend whenever I look at them. They’re so pretty and smell really good. I love that it’s an old fashioned gesture that’s still around today. It’s so simple but thoughtful.

4. We enjoy the simplest of things

We don’t always need extravagant dates or gifts. Pack a lunch and take her on a picnic, dress like bums, get some snacks and binge watch Netflix all day, take her to the drive-in theater, etc. It really doesn’t take much to make us happy (at least it shouldn’t).

5. Take her on a surprise date

A fancy date is good every once in a while too! Tell your girl to put on her nicest dress and look all dolled up but don’t tell her what you’re going to do. Take her to a fancy restaurant and treat her like the queen she is. Now, surprise dates don’t have to be fancy or expensive. They can be anything you want them to be!

6. Send long paragraphs via text

I love receiving long paragraphs from my boyfriend that tell me how much I mean to him. It can make my bad day good and my good day great. It just lets me know that he is thinking of me. This goes to girlfriends too! Send your man a long paragraph!

7. Send a love letter

People don’t do this that often nowadays. But I think writing a love letter means so much. You’re taking the time out of your day to sit down and hand write your love. It’s just really sweet.

8. Listen to her

I know us girls sometimes just ramble on. But do you know how many points you gain when your girl is talking to you about something and then you later mention something about what she said? A lot. You are her best friend and she just wants to tell you everything. Try to be interested in what she’s saying.

So girls, show this to your boyfriends if you feel he is slacking in some of these areas! Every girl deserves to be treated like a queen.