Funny

Cuddling vs Snuggling- What is the difference?!

So I’ve always kind of wondered what the difference between cuddling and snuggling is. My boyfriend had this theory that cuddling is with clothes because it starts with “c” and snuggling involves some sort of sexual interaction since it starts with “s”. Seems like a valid theory right? I thought so too.

However, I got bored the other day and decided to actually look up on Urbandictionary.com (the website we all used in like eight grade when we didn’t know terms or sayings). I figured out that there is MORE than just cuddling and snuggling. So clearly, I now have to educate the WordPress population of my findings.

According to Urban Dictionary…

Cuddling is simply touching and caressing without any contact whatsoever with either partner’s sexual organs. Women actually prefer cuddling to sex. Smart men love cuddling because it is single best route to sexual intercourse and to the elusive FEMALE ORGASM. Such men are treasured.
(I suppose the “c” theory for this one is correct!)

1. Cuddling with your significant other
2. Often starts out playful and flirty; includes a happy ending.
3. Tends to be sexual.
(Another hit! The theory is right again!)
BUT THEN… I found words that are related and it blew my mind. Who knew they had sexual terms for EVERY utensil!?!?!
A form of cuddling in which the man embraces the woman from the back and fit together like spoons. Hence the word “spooning.”
For Girls: Cute, Warm, & Straight to sleep
For Guys: A face full of hair, A dead arm, & an awkward boner
(OK, well I did know about this one… but just wait)
An phenomenon that occurs when a man and a woman are spooning, and the man gets an erection. Often leads to either anal sex, or a restraining order, or in rare cases, both.
AND…
Lying next to each other. Just lay on your back..parralell. Oh the innocence.
OR….
Ferocious fingering in the standard knifing motion. hand must be bladed to carry out act effectively.
This is usually performed after spooning and before forking!!
AND…
A sexual act in which a man enters a woman from behind. The woman lies down on her stomach with her legs spread (knee joints straight) and the man enters her with a straight body such that the “fork” that is formed consists of the woman’s legs on the sides and the man’s legs in between.
And then there’s this,
Two guys lie down facing each other, and both simultaneously grind their penisagainst the belly of the other person. The first person to come loses.
IDK I guess the more you know… ???
Shoutout to Urban Dictionary for always having the answers to my questions.
Funny · Uncategorized

Bad habits (I won’t give up, ever)

Everyone has them right? A bad habit they wish that they could stop doing, but probably won’t ever be able to do so?

  • procrastinating
  • drinking coffee
  • biting nails
  • forgetting to keep up with tv series or shows
  • living out of a suitcase, or your car
  • overpacking for trips, no matter how long or short they may be
  • sleeping in and staying up late
  • hating people
  • twitter, or social media in general
  • setting unrealistic goals for myself
  • obsessively checking my phone
  • cracking my knuckles
  • talking to yourself
  • picking at things, such as your hair, skin or scabs
  • saying yes to everything
  • forgetting the names of people you meet
  • having expectations of how a conversation or date will go
  • folding my laundry but then leaving it out instead of putting it away
  • popping pimples
  • being overly critical (especially of yourself)
  • binge watching Netflix
  • eavesdropping
  • being argumentative and stubborn
  • eating when you’re bored
  • canceling plans because you just don’t want to
  • annoying people on purpose
  • hogging all the attention
  • jealousy
  • twirling my hair
  • touching my boobs
  • checking my phone before falling asleep
  • forgetting to keep up with tv series or shows
  • living out of a suitcase, or your car
  • overpacking for trips, no matter how long or short they may be
  • being easily annoyed or stressed
  • smoosh-ing too much into one day
  • not getting enough sleep or sleeping in when you shouldn’t
  • waiting until the last minute to complete some type of assignment
  • talking softer towards the end of a sentence
  • being the “mom” of the group
  • being in control at all times
  • doing less important things before the important things
  • forgetting to text or call someone back
  • or texting back too quickly (there is no in between)
100 Things · College · Friends · Funny

100 Things to ask Your Friends

My go to activity to pass the time at two in the morning is to ask my friends random questions. I call it The Question Game. My roommate, I and our group of friends do this almost weekly, except it’s getting harder and harder to find a list of questions we don’t already know the answers to. The Question Game is a great way to lightly find out slightly deep things out about friends that you may have never known. To put it simply, it’s basically a “get to know each other” game, but more fun with more awkward questions! So let’s get started…

  1. What are you most afraid of?
  2. What is your biggest flaw?
  3. What do you love most about yourself?
  4. What do you hate about yourself?
  5. What was your last dream about?
  6. What are the top five qualities you look for in a significant other?
  7. What is the first feature you notice on the opposite sex?
  8. What is your dream job?
  9. What is the most embarrassing thing someone has walked in on you doing?
  10. How far have you gone with a person of the opposite sex?
  11. How far have you gone with a person of the same sex?
  12. What’s the craziest place you’ve had sex?
  13. When did you lose your virginity?
  14. What was your first time like (with details!)?
  15. What is one thing you want me to realize about myself?
  16. How was your first kiss? (with details!)
  17. What is something you regret the most?
  18. What is the most embarrassing thing to happen to you?
  19. Where do you see yourself in five years?
  20. What is your ten year plan?
  21. Do you want children, and how many?
  22. What was the biggest lie you’ve told your parents?
  23. What is something you’ve never told anyone?
  24. What was the first thing you got grounded for?
  25. Tell me about the first time you snuck out.
  26. What was the hardest thing you’ve ever had to give up on?
  27. What makes you bored?
  28. What is your favorite thing to do?
  29. What is your favorite four-legged animal?
  30. Who is someone you miss the most from your childhood?
  31. What was your favorite toy as a child?
  32. What is your least favorite food?
  33. What is your favorite food?
  34. Are you usually late, early, or right on time?
  35. Are you happy with your life at the moment and why/ why not?
  36. Who is someone you envy?
  37. Tell me about your biggest achievement.
  38. What is the worse thing you’ve ever done?
  39. What is the most embarrassing thing you’ve been caught doing?
  40. What was the worst punishment you received as a child and for what?
  41. What is your favorite type of chocolate?
  42. What are your 3 favorite features of yourself?
  43. What career do you hope to have?
  44. Who was the last person you lied to? When? Why?
  45. What scares you the most and why?
  46. What do you like to do in your free time?
  47. Tell me about a mistake you made.
  48. Tell me about a relationship you regret.
  49. Which is your favorite human body part, why?
  50. What is your biggest turn on?
  51. Do you have any fetishes?
  52. What is your biggest turn off?
  53. What piece of technology brings you the most joy?
  54. What is your going to bed routine?
  55. Do you wash your hands in the bathroom?
  56. What animal best represents your personality?
  57. What is the most important object you own?
  58. Have you ever committed a crime?
  59. What job would you be absolutely horrible at?
  60. What commercial convinced you not to buy the product?
  61. What is something most people can do easily but you find difficult?
  62. What is a job that exists but should not exist?
  63. What is the most impressive thing you know how to do?
  64. What was your drop the mic moment?
  65. What were you most scared of as a child?
  66. Do you believe in ghosts?
  67. Do you believe in big foot?
  68. Who is your nemesis?
  69. What is the best and worse thing about being a female/male?
  70. What childish thing do you still enjoy?
  71. Which celebrity would make the worst leader of the country?
  72. What is the most useless thing you know how to do?
  73. What is your strangest talent?
  74. What wild animal most represents you? Why?
  75. How many people have you dated?
  76. Have you ever considered liking the opposite sex?
  77. Have you ever seen someone of the opposite sex as attractive?
  78. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher or coach of some sort?
  79. Do you prefer Wendy’s of McDonald’s?
  80. Chipotle or Qdoba?
  81. Chocolate or fruity candy?
  82. What is your favorite sex position?
  83. Have you ever been caught having sex?
  84. Do you think there is another life form in the universe?
  85. What is something that you are scared of?
  86. What are three things that are on your bucket list?
  87. What is your ultimate dream job?
  88. What is the coolest thing you’ve found?
  89. What is the most amount of money that you won?
  90. What is something that terrifies you, but you do it anyways?
  91. What was your best/ favorite class/subject in high school?
  92. What was your worst/ least favorite class/subject in high school?
  93. Have you ever crossed someone out of your yearbook? Who?
  94. Where is your favorite place to go?
  95. Where do you want to travel to?
  96. Are you scared of heights? Death? Clowns? Etc?
  97. Tell me something I don’t already know about you?
  98. What is the meanest thing you’ve said or done to someone?
  99. What is the sweetest thing someone else has done for you?
  100. What is the nicest thing you’ve said or done for someone else?
  101. Do you like this game?

Of course, these questions are meant to lead you to think of other questions that are similar. These are just starter questions to help you get thinking!

Funny · gifs

Things I just can’t handle

There are honestly probably more things than I can count and truthfully don’t even realize that I just can’t deal with. Today I am going to try to come up with a list of some of the things that really irritate me.

Please do not use this list against me, these things already torture me enough.

Ketchup. This may just be a personal thing for me, but I only like ketchup in moderation. The smell grosses me out and I can’t deal with loads of it on my cheeseburgers. I think that my dislike of piles of ketchup comes from when I took a class in a daycare and had to clean the ketchup off of ten little kids plates (all stacked on top of each other).

The sound of someone gagging or puking

People who spit on to the ground

Extremely drunk people. My family is big on drinking and since I’ve seen a lot of drunk people in my nineteen years, I absolutely have no tolerance for them whatsoever (and most people in general). However, drunk people in particular get on my nerves in seconds. I honestly have no interest in drinking because of the people I’ve experienced and stories I’ve heard.

Fake friends. This is mainly devoted to those high school girls and people around that age group. For some reason, high school is where fake friends are made. They cause so much drama and it’s just too overwhelming.

The smell of fish

Hot dogs. For this one, it’s not really the hot dog itself that bothers me. But what is in the hot dog. I’ve read so many things on the disgusted body parts found in hot dogs. I also ran a ho dog stand once, so the smell of hot dogs just goes right through me. Surprisingly, sometimes I’ll still eat one, but only if I’m really hungry.

Milk. I used to love a cold glass of milk, but ever since I was in about third grade, I haven’t been able to drink one again. I really don’t have a reason to hate milk. I just do. Yes, I am aware that milk is key for developing, but here I am, nineteen years old and have yet to brake a bone. So.

Public bathrooms

Feet

Loud chewing

Putting the toilet seat down. I share a bathroom with my dad, his guy friend and my dog (yes you read that right, my dog tries to pee into the toilet). Anyways, I swear the seat is always left up. It just grosses me out that I have to touch the underneath of the seat or the top where people sit on.

Bugs

Snakes

Spiders

Mayonnaise. Even the name sounds gross, am I right? This is another ketchup situation for me anyways. Don’t get me wrong, some mayo on a tomato sandwich is pretty tasty. But even the ingredients don’t sound like a great combination, egg yolks, oil and vinegar? Who came up with that.

When girls don’t wear a bra with a white shirt, when it’s cold, or when it’s raining. Yes okay there’s a “free the titties” thing that’s been going around. Yes I understand that us women don’t always have to wear bras. However, I work at a concert venue and see way too many girls wearing a white see through shirt and no bra. It only gets worse when it starts to rain and the venue isn’t covered.

Sushi

Rats

Cock roaches

 

 

 

Funny · life · Our Thoughts

Thoughts of an introvert

Hi. I’m Squishy. (People say in unison – “Hiiii squishy”) I am an introvert. I have been an introvert for the past 20 years. Some say it’s because I was home schooled. I say it’s because people suck. I feel like more and more people are becoming introverted. Some, I believe, are introverts because it’s the “cool” thing to do because they’re conforming to today’s introverted society. I don’t mean to brag, but I was introverted before it was “cool”. So, I’m going to list some of the things that us introverts go through in our daily lives.

1. Needing alone time after being social

I always feel mentally exhausted after (and sometimes during) being social. Being social is fun sometimes, I just can only handle so much at a time. It always feels nice to get into bed and relax and calm your brain.

2. People thinking you’re rude

I’m just a naturally quiet person. Some people assume I’m rude because I don’t talk much. There’s nothing wrong with just observing! If I have nothing to say, why talk? I’m not going to talk just to talk and have random crap come out of my mouth. Sue me. People also might think I’m rude personally because I have major RBF. Oops.

3. Being happy when plans get canceled

I feel bad for feeling this way sometimes. There are just some days when I need to be by myself and Netflix.

4. Being too afraid or shy to do things

Sometimes I let my shyness or whatever get in the way of things. As most of you know, I work at a jewelry store. I could probably be a lot better sales person if I was more outgoing and had more people skills. But it’s just not who I am. I have to make phone calls and they’re always a mess.

5. Instantly regretting making plans

We’ve all been there. I sometimes ask myself “why did I just do that? ABORT ABORT ABORT”. But then, I usually end up having fun with whatever plans I made.

6. Wanting to be alone but not lonely

I hope this makes sense to most of you. I love being alone but I like knowing that I have people who are there for me whenever.

 
Please don’t think I hate being around people all the time. I do enjoy spending time with family and friends. I just enjoy my quiet and alone time!

P.S. Shout out to my boyfriend for understanding that I need my alone time and not getting upset at me about it. You’re the best.


Funny

Grossest words in the dictionary

*WARNING: THE FOLLOWING WORDS ARE NOT FOR PEOPLE WITH WEAK STOMACHS*

 
We each probably have a list of words that make us cringe at the sight or sound of them. I can’t pin point what makes them so repulsive. They just are. So here is a list of my least favorite words. Grab a trash can!

  1. Moist
  2. Yolk
  3. Scrotum
  4. Panty/panties
  5. Smear
  6. Squirt
  7. Secrete
  8. Maggots
  9. Ointment
  10. Mucus
  11. Pus
  12. Curd
  13. Throb
  14. Shaft
  15. Raunchy
  16. Flaccid
  17. Horny
  18. Menstruate
  19. Penetrate
  20. Thrust
  21. Jizz
  22. Discharge
  23. Yeast
  24. Groin
  25. Clot
  26. Cyst
  27. Phlegm
  28. Lube
  29. Lubricate
  30. Coitus
  31. Glute
  32. Gluten
  33. Sack
  34. Crusty
  35. Lover

I cringed the whole time while writing this blog. I hope I didn’t make too many of you nauseous or throw up. But this blog post had to be written! Gotta keep things interesting! 

Comment some of your least favorite words and why you hate them!

Crazy Customers · Funny · Jobs

Crazy Customers: Fast Food Edition

Introducing the Fast Food Edition of our “Crazy Customers” blog post series! Make sure you also check out our first blog “Crazy Customers: Jewelry Store Edition”. Topics like this are relatable for practically anyone, because chances are your first job was working in the Fast Food Industry followed by some sort of job in Retail and so on…

Here are just some of the Crazy Customers that I’ve had recently working a fast food concession stand at a stadium near by.

  1. A little child came up to the counter and said “So, what can I get for free here?” Um, a straw? (We literally gave the kid a straw) Seriously?! Who sends their child up to the concession stand asking for free food?
  2. “Can I have a receipt for that?” Excuse me, but why do you need a receipt for a single water bottle you bought with cash? Blows my mind but sure, let me re-enter the order so I can print a receipt special for you.
  3. “Can I have a large draft beer?” “Of course, I just need to check your ID” “Really?” No, not really. It’s not at all required, I just want to know your birthdate for personal use. It’s not like it’s a law or procedure or anything important.
  4. “Do you have to take the caps?” This may not apply everywhere but the stadium I volunteer at we have to take off the caps to any drinks because fans used to throw them. And yes, we have to explain why to every customer who orders a drink.
  5. “I’ll give you more money if you let me keep the cap” I literally just explained to you that it’s required from the workers to take off all the caps. I’m sorry, I know it’s a pain, I have the blisters on my hand to prove it. I promise I’m not collecting soda and water caps.
  6. “Can I get a fountain soda?” “Which size, Small or Large?” “Medium” Was that an option? I didn’t think so. But let me ask again, this time I’ll take out one of each size just to make sure you understand there’s only two options… Small… or…. Large.
  7. On the same note, there’s the customers that open their sodas to make sure it’s filled to their liking. Clearly the quarter of an inch at the top of the cup is going to end up in the question “Can you just fill this up more?” Yup, have fun walking back to your seat wearing your drink.
  8. A customer walks up to the concession stand which is named “Tenders and Wings” with the question “Do you sell hot dogs here?” Hmm, let me check the menu… Chicken tenders… fries… chicken wings… Nope, I’m sorry, but there’s a hot dog stand right across the way there!
  9. “Can I have an order of chicken tenders with fries?” Once you get the order for them and return to the counter they say “I didn’t order that, I wanted fries” Well, you order chicken tenders with fries. Not an order of fries. But let me get that for you.
  10. Finally, there’s always the customer that adds on to their orders after paying already.
  11. Oh, or the one’s who come up to the counter not knowing what they want.
  12. Don’t forget the customers who you ask to stand to the side while their order is made, but they don’t move, so you can’t take the next person in line behind them.

Working in fast food is both crazy and fun. I love taking the customers orders and working the register, but don’t get me wrong, it’s not always fun when you hear the same silly questions over and over for five hours.

 

Disclaimer: If you are one of these customers please do not take this blog offensively, my teachers always said there is no such thing as a stupid question.

 

*** Hey fast food employees… as you know… there are stupid questions working in the fast food industry… ***

Funny · Our Thoughts

A thank you note to coffee

Dear coffee,

Thank you for helping me get motivated to get out of bed every morning. You’re literally the only reason I get up if I don’t have work. Sometimes, you’re the only thing getting me through the work day. Thank you for helping me go to the bathroom. Gross, but come on on. We all know it’s true. Don’t deny it.

Thank you for warming me up. I like drinking you hot the best. There’s nothing like waking up cold in the morning and pouring fresh and hot coffee in your favorite mug and getting all cozy. Let’s talk about how delicious coffee smells.  I stop whatever I’m doing whenever I smell the warm and toasty smell of coffee. I don’t care if someone doesn’t like coffee, how can you not like the smell? It’s Gods gift to our olfactory senses.

Thank you for helping me tolerate people. Some days, I can’t handle people talking to me before I have my coffee. No talkee before coffee. It’s for people’s own good. I can always tell when I haven’t had coffee. Something just always feels off and I’m not in the mood for anyone (more than usual).

Thank you for coming in many different forms. Hot coffee, iced coffee, frappé, etc. Some people only drink a certain kind depending on the season. But me? Nah fam. I’m drinking hot coffee in the middle of the summer. I’m drinking ice coffee in a snow storm. I’ll accept you always no matter what form you’re in.

Thank you for being you, never change.

Love, coffee addict

For those of you who aren’t coffee people, what is your “coffee”? Comment below!

Funny · Jobs

12 Things you say Over and Over Working in Fast Food

1. Hi, what can I get for you?

This is a really simply way of greeting people, of course always spoken with a smile on your face.

2. What size drink? What kind of drink do you want?

This actually drives me insane. At my work we have two sizes, small and large. How many people do you think ask for the medium?

3. We have Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Sierra Mist… Etc etc.

Then it leads to this, they don’t inform you what kind of drink they want so you have to list every single kind you have. Remembering all 8 of them is honestly a struggle. I personally love when a customer asks for Coke when clearly there’s Pepsi. There’s seriously Pepsi signs right in front of them.

4. Is that all?

I use this all the time when customers don’t really seem like they know if that’s all they want or not.

5. So that’ll be a *repeat order*

Once I get the go ahead that they are finished ordering, I’ll repeat the entire order just to make sure that I didn’t miss anything or they didn’t change their minds. It’s just easier than getting my manager to refund something later.

6. And you’re total is… $$$$$

For some reason this line is the one my customers never listen to. I tell them how much their order is and they’ll hand me the wrong amount. It’s quite awkward when you have to ask for more money than what they gave you.

7. You just need to complete the card transaction.

At my work, we have iPads as our register system so we just flip over the screen to the customer to complete the transaction. For whatever reason half of them don’t understand what just happened. This is also the only way I can “solicit” asking for a tip as the screen pops up with an option for it.

8. Would you like a reciept?

Not many people want receipts at a concert arena so my register doesn’t print every single persons order. I have to make sure that if the customer wants one I hand print it for them.

9. The condiments/napkins/straws are behind you on the table.

This is one of the most common questions I get asked. I don’t really understand why so many people can’t find the condiment station.

10. Here’s your change.

Just a really simple thing that’s slightly a necessary line in a fast food place. Duh everyone wants their change.

11. Have a nice day/night!

A friendly greeting goodbye to your customers is the last part of the order. Sometimes I even throw in enjoy the concert!

12. I can take the next person over here!

If you don’t say this after an order is done the people next in line just stand there watching you. You’d think it’d be common sense but I guess not!

And just like that you’re back to “hello, what can I get for you?”. It’s really just an endless cycle.

Funny · gifs

10 pet peeves

If you know me, you know I get irritated by a lot of things. It doesn’t take much to annoy me. I’m going to list some of my biggest pet peeves, so you guys can take notes on what not do to while you’re around me. (Only slightly kidding)

1. Loud chewing.

This is my #1 pet peeve. Chewing with your mouth closed isn’t a hard concept. I will literally leave the room if you’re chewing loudly because that’s better than me yelling at you.

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2. Walking behind slow walkers.

I’m naturally a fast walker so I really can’t handle people throwing off my fast walking groove. Some people can’t help it. To the people who CAN help it, I think”what are you doing? It’s like you’re walking 5 mph in a 40 mph zone”.

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3. Whn ppl type lik dis.

R u tht lazy tht u cant typ da whle word or corectly? Itz mor exhausting 2 typ lik dis than it iz 2 typ nrmal. Idc how old u r. Dis shldn’t b a thing. (That was way too much work)

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4. One word responses.

K.

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5. People who think they’re a photographer just because they have a fancy camera.

That’s like me saying I’m a make-up artist because I own fancy make-up. No. You have to have skill. I see too many girls these days taking pictures of their best friends in their back yards and doing little to no editing and calling it “photography” and then creating a Facebook page for it. If you’re passionate about it, then by all means, practice and work your way up. Don’t just do it because you have a fancy camera. Also, please don’t consider yourself a photographer if you take iPhone pictures!

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6. Sand.

I absolutely LOVE the beach. The sound of the waves and the warm sun on your skin…so peaceful. And then you get home and pull down your bathing suit bottoms and sand goes all over the floor and you feel like you have to shower for 5 hours to get all the sand out of all the crevices. Why does sand have to get EVERYWHERE?

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7. Dirty feet.

My whole body feels dirty when my feet are dirty. I feel disgusting and it makes me cringe. Other people’s dirty feet make me feel disgusting too and I need them to be far away from me. Dirty feet are just bad.

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8. Socks with sandals

I don’t need to explain this one.

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9. Uneven hoodie strings

I always eventually take them out because I get tired of constantly fixing them. It’s just not good for my OCD.

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10. Loud, obnoxious, and flirty teenagers

They’re the worst. I work at a store in the mall and I see them all the time and it makes me cringe. Do they not know how unappealing their behavior is?

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